Red lipstick, San Francisco, and a chilly afternoon.

This weekend I learned a few things. I learned that relief and despair are very close to each other. I learned that teetering between the two can turn a simple dream into a world that is upside down.
I learned that drinking myself into a hole is not the right step to recovery. I always knew that but I guess I needed to show myself how far I can go. I learned friends are always going to be around and ready to talk but you can still feel like the only person in the world with four walls closing in. I learned that any goals I try and set are always trumped by lack of motivation. I learned that my memory is my worst enemy. I learned that trying to find meaning in life is a worthless pursuit of false hope. I learned not to care.

LIS

I'm tired of people telling me my feelings are wrong. I'm tired of hearing I'm wasting my time. I'm tired of people telling me it's going to take time. I'm tired. I know they are right. I know my judgment is just clouded. I know why nothing looks colorful right now. I know why I'm not sleeping. I know why I have walls.

They are slowly breaking down and I know I'm too late for it to make a difference. I want to wake up from this long, devastating nightmare. I want to be able to wake up and feel good. I want to stop putting up a front like everything is fine. I want to stop feeling sorry for myself.

....

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200mm

The words just aren't coming to me right now. I know what I want to say, I know what I need to say but they just won't come out. The rain is really depressing. I have a feeling this winter may be the worst winter yet.

I've finished my third book this month. That's the most I've read in one month in a long time. Granted, the book are only an average of 300 pages, but still.

It's a little late. I should probably be heading to bed even though I know it won't help.

Your love...a waste of time

mixing an amazing movie based off an amazing novel with an amazing song from an amazing band.

you get the point..

CHAMPION OF THE SUN!

bang over

Sacramento was hot and not just in temperature. This past weekend was probably one of the best weekends I've had in a really long time. Well, with a few bumps in the road but that was bound to happen. Pat and Jenny's wedding was awesome; great friends, great food, and tons of dancing.

It was so awesome to see all my friends from all over the globe. Everyone in one room for 4 hours dancing and having fun; really can't ask for more.

Here is a little taste of the whole weekend....

Love(r)d

Even if Casey doesn't believe me, I really have listened to Burial over 600 times. Yeah, it may not be when I'm awake but I think it still counts. Any ways, I do have to thank him for getting me hooked to one of the best Dubstep producers I have ever heard. Untrue is probably one of the best albums I have ever listened to...

And speaking of Burial, the mystery man just reveled himself. This was taking from prolly is not probably blog

"hi

for a while theres been some talk about who i am , but its not a big deal
i wanted to be unknown because i just want it to be all about the tunes.
over the last year the unknown thing become an issue so im not into it any more.
im a lowkey person and i just want to make some tunes, nothing else. my names will bevan, im from south london, im keeping my head down and just going to finish my next album, theres going to be a 12" maybe in the next few weeks too with 4 tunes. hope u like it, i'll try put a tune up later

sorry for any rubbish tunes i made in the past, ill make up for it


a big big thank you to anyone who ever supported me, liked my tunes or sent me messages, it means the world to me


big up everyone, take care, will ( burial )"

take a listen if you like...

now it's back to beefing up my last.fm