Ohhh girl

So much has happened. I don't know where to start.

Well, things are going absolutely great really. I haven't felt this good in months. I finally put to sleep some demons which was bogging down my life for a long time. Working a ton, making a lot of $$$$$$$$ and possibly making a huge decision in the next few weeks. Negotiations are a bitch but never back down.

Missing my NYC friends a bunch but...................

I was dreading fall/winter for a while but now it doesn't seem like it's going to be so bad. Staying busy, feeling great, and telling the world to fuck off all at once.

4 big trips in the works for late 08/09. England, COSTA RICA?!?!, East coast, and possibly back to Germany for a week.

Went to see Choke the other night. It was pretty good and I actually liked it better than the book.

Oh man, speaking of books, I was so fucking pissed to see THIS the other day at Elliot Bay books. This bitch is ruining everything. And it wasn't just a sticker you can take off. No, it's actually ON THE FUCKING BOOK. Epic fail.

Hapless and Hopeless

I'd like to thank Scott Wade for the suggested play list of Cat Power, Jeff Buckley and Nick Cave..

while i'm alive i'll feel alive

I'm so fucking excited for Friday. I hope I'm not disappointed.

Elegantly Waisted

Last night I attended a fashion show at the McLeod Residence in Belltown. A friend of mine was featured along with 4 other local designers. McLeod Residence is "a home for extraordinary living through art, technology and collaboration."

I took along the camera to take a few shots but ended up taking around 200. The lighting was incredible and ever changing which made all the pictures weird and grainy. I used the 50mm for most shots and the 11-18mm wide angle for a few select shots.

Here are a few of my favorites and the rest are here

existence

Last night around 315am, I was laying in bed thinking about life and death. I don't like thinking about shit like that because it gets depressing quick. I started thinking about preserving your memory. For instance, no one ever forgets about famous people. I mean, that's why they are famous; because they did something extraordinary. But then I started thinking about people who didn't do anything extraordinary. Every day people like you and me. Yes, they have a family (some) and people think about them a lot. But then it got a bit deeper. When does an individual lose existence? Does the final breath of that persons soul leave when the remaining person that remembers them dies as well? You're probably thinking on I'm some new age trip, but I was honestly laying in bed for two hours thinking about that specifically.

When are you truly forgotten about? At what time do you never get remembered again?

As I tossed and turned thinking about this question, I felt a deep sadness rush over me. I knew it was coming and I expected it, but this time it was cold and emptier than usual. It's really puts the universe into perspective. It feels negative and lonely to think that you really don't matter. Yes, you may matter to some people, and you may do something extraordinary, but if you don't, then you are forgotten forever and will never be thought of again. Am I wrong in thinking that life is not meant for happiness and you must struggle to find happiness? And when you do, what is there left to fight for? I'm not trying to be all doom and gloom, but when you clear all the shit out; it's pretty obvious what life's meaning is..and that it has no meaning unless you make meaning for yourself.

Fulfillment leads to happiness. Accomplishment leads to happiness. I know when I ride my bike up massive hills and finally reach the top, it's one of the best feelings. But what happens after that? Life is just a chase and once you have it, you feel you have to go one step further to enjoy it more. Complacency leads to doubting your existence. I know it all too well.

Whatcho paper like?

R E U P G A N G


Killing it. My favorite hip hop record right now. Clipse is the shit.

Also, loving that new T.I. joint "Whatever you like"

E-Life and Oenology/enology

I have submitted my death ticket to the e-life. You can know follow every second of the melodramatic downfall via this link OH BOI TWITTER

Also, I saw Bottle Shock last night. I enjoyed it greatly due to my interest in wine. Also, it had two of my favorite actors, Freddy Rodríguez (from Six Feet Under) and Alan Rickman who needs no introduction.

I saw it at the Big Picture in Redmond and my friend who accompanied me said that an email went out to a big local wine drinker list to see the movie at the same time we were. It was pretty funny to hear/see a bunch of rich white people dropping bottles and getting trashed during the movie. I didn't get annoyed until the dumb lady behind me started in with her own commentary. Either way, the movie was enjoyable and I would see it again.