Elegantly Waisted

Last night I attended a fashion show at the McLeod Residence in Belltown. A friend of mine was featured along with 4 other local designers. McLeod Residence is "a home for extraordinary living through art, technology and collaboration."

I took along the camera to take a few shots but ended up taking around 200. The lighting was incredible and ever changing which made all the pictures weird and grainy. I used the 50mm for most shots and the 11-18mm wide angle for a few select shots.

Here are a few of my favorites and the rest are here

existence

Last night around 315am, I was laying in bed thinking about life and death. I don't like thinking about shit like that because it gets depressing quick. I started thinking about preserving your memory. For instance, no one ever forgets about famous people. I mean, that's why they are famous; because they did something extraordinary. But then I started thinking about people who didn't do anything extraordinary. Every day people like you and me. Yes, they have a family (some) and people think about them a lot. But then it got a bit deeper. When does an individual lose existence? Does the final breath of that persons soul leave when the remaining person that remembers them dies as well? You're probably thinking on I'm some new age trip, but I was honestly laying in bed for two hours thinking about that specifically.

When are you truly forgotten about? At what time do you never get remembered again?

As I tossed and turned thinking about this question, I felt a deep sadness rush over me. I knew it was coming and I expected it, but this time it was cold and emptier than usual. It's really puts the universe into perspective. It feels negative and lonely to think that you really don't matter. Yes, you may matter to some people, and you may do something extraordinary, but if you don't, then you are forgotten forever and will never be thought of again. Am I wrong in thinking that life is not meant for happiness and you must struggle to find happiness? And when you do, what is there left to fight for? I'm not trying to be all doom and gloom, but when you clear all the shit out; it's pretty obvious what life's meaning is..and that it has no meaning unless you make meaning for yourself.

Fulfillment leads to happiness. Accomplishment leads to happiness. I know when I ride my bike up massive hills and finally reach the top, it's one of the best feelings. But what happens after that? Life is just a chase and once you have it, you feel you have to go one step further to enjoy it more. Complacency leads to doubting your existence. I know it all too well.

Whatcho paper like?

R E U P G A N G


Killing it. My favorite hip hop record right now. Clipse is the shit.

Also, loving that new T.I. joint "Whatever you like"

E-Life and Oenology/enology

I have submitted my death ticket to the e-life. You can know follow every second of the melodramatic downfall via this link OH BOI TWITTER

Also, I saw Bottle Shock last night. I enjoyed it greatly due to my interest in wine. Also, it had two of my favorite actors, Freddy Rodríguez (from Six Feet Under) and Alan Rickman who needs no introduction.

I saw it at the Big Picture in Redmond and my friend who accompanied me said that an email went out to a big local wine drinker list to see the movie at the same time we were. It was pretty funny to hear/see a bunch of rich white people dropping bottles and getting trashed during the movie. I didn't get annoyed until the dumb lady behind me started in with her own commentary. Either way, the movie was enjoyable and I would see it again.

Guilt rides with us

I awoke this morning and it was still dark outside. I guess I'm used to waking and seeing a bit of light. But the inevitable has arrived; shorter days of sun.

During the daylight hours last weekend, I made my way around some of my favorite stores in Seattle. I, of course, hit up the The Anne Bonny and chatted with Spencer for a bit. He got in some new stuff and I had to restrain myself from buying it all. I also went out to Ballard and walked around Market. I like Ballard a lot and it has a lot of nice stores. I bought some tea at Miro Tea which I must say is just splendid.

Today is an exciting day; a new lens comes in for my camera. I can't wait to play around with it. I'm saving up for a new body right now. I might go with the D80. We shall see.

Now, the time has come where I must put on a smile and head into the cold, uncreative workplace I call home 40+ hrs a week.

Oh yeah, saw this yesterday while heading to work. This guy has balls.

and someday

fourth floor roots




We are beggers where blown
and I will meet you fourth floor
Then we'll make-up no...
No fist to fuckin' save you from
You knock me out
I'll take the burden full blown
And I will be there no...
No fist to fuckin' save you from
You knock me out
No fist to fuckin' save you from
I'm going home
Everything felt good
Everything's right at first
When I was cursed Maddog...
Life before I would shine down unshy
It comes from the first one
While I watch you
I want to be much than more
While I watch you

I know what I have to do. I know what it's going to take. I know to survive, I have to do it.

It's going to be the hardest thing I've ever done but for me to continue living, it has to be done.

I follow...

3rd

Webanomics

It let me get really close. Then I looked away for a minutes and it crawled on my hand. It just sat there for a second and I lead it back to the web. I figured I wouldn't freak out since it was letting me photograph its work. It was an unspoken trust I guess....

L.I.S

Patience

I gotta have patience.

3:00 AM

Life is so fucking weird. I can't even begin to explain why I say that but man, what a weird weird life.

Stability is the word of the week. Stability. Let's see if I can get something going.

Je ne veux pas votre aide

I need to really clean my life up. Everything so is scattered right now and I'm lacking focus. I haven't took a photograph in almost two weeks and I promised myself that I would start snapping more and more photos. So this weekend, I am off. Leaving town and I hope to come back with a lot of photos to share.

My sleeping still isn't there. I went to the doctor this past Monday and I have another appointment next Monday. I am hoping that something will come out of these appointments. If not, I don't know what my next steps are going to be.

Work is really picking up and I will be working loads of overtime from here and until Christmas. I guess that is good though, keeping the mind occupied. It also means less time to hang out with friends and do things.

The days are already getting shorter and I have a feeling it's going to be a cold ass winter. Last night was the first night I actually slept in my bed. The past two months, I have just rested on top of it with a small blanket to cover me. But last night I actually got under the covers. It was blank and empty but I needed the warmth. Though, to think of it, It wasn't actually that cold out last night.

Any ways, my reading has slowed down as well. I need to pick that up again. It was one of the only things in my life that wasn't chaotic.

OK, that's enough whining.

My Crutch

Tomorrow is a new day.

Red lipstick, San Francisco, and a chilly afternoon.

This weekend I learned a few things. I learned that relief and despair are very close to each other. I learned that teetering between the two can turn a simple dream into a world that is upside down.
I learned that drinking myself into a hole is not the right step to recovery. I always knew that but I guess I needed to show myself how far I can go. I learned friends are always going to be around and ready to talk but you can still feel like the only person in the world with four walls closing in. I learned that any goals I try and set are always trumped by lack of motivation. I learned that my memory is my worst enemy. I learned that trying to find meaning in life is a worthless pursuit of false hope. I learned not to care.