Bathroom Chronicals V. 1.0

In my time working for Corporate America, I have noticed and experienced the weirdness of the workplace bathrooms. First, I will give you a slight background on myself: 1. I do not drop deuces in public restrooms. You may think this is childish and dumb but the stories that will follow will give you good reason to understand why I do not and WILL NOT do the deed. 2. I will not use urinals anymore.

I will start from current and then track back through the nightmares of the workplace bathroom.

I don't know if it's me, but I have expiercies the most awkward situations in the bathroom and today was not an exception. I was running late for work meeting and I didn't have time to drop off my bag at my desk and I really needed to pee pretty bad. I walk into the bathroom and head for the enclosed stall and I thought I locked the door but I guess it didn't all the way. As I start to pee, I hear someone walk in and come up to my door. I hear the door open and I'm like, "Excuse me, someone is in here." and the person taps my shoulder, mind you while I'm still peeing and said, " I'd really like to use this stall when you are done so can you let me know when you are finished?" I said, "Please shut the fucking door."

As I finish, I'm stunned at this guys gall to open the door, while I'm pissing and start talking to me. I really couldn't believe it. And to even ask for that stall? Get the fuck out.

So I open the door and see him standing there. I gave him a long stare and go to wash my hands and he is still standing by the wall. I say, "The stall is free now." and he says, "I'm just waiting for you too leave."

I didn't even know what to say. By the time I was done washing my hands, I see him walk to the stall and close the door and at that time, a group of people come in and I hear the guy in the stall say, "GODAMNIT, I CAN'T DO THIS." I was a little weirded out and then noticed him leave the stall and storm out of the bathroom.

I thought to myself, it's good to see someone with bigger bathroom issues than just myself.

What a weird way to start off the week.